Reading about post structuralism in the library and Carinne walks in really serious, and flashes me.
Academia is over and a different kind of knowledge takes place as she recounts her adventures out in the world last night with drugs, alcohol, strangers and rogue knives chasing bystanders down the street.
Tony walks in, eating his lunch.
Then Ricky appears, in full Ilisagvik gear.
What will happen when I’m completely left to my own thoughts again? As much as I love alone time, I need these people around me. I need people, I admit it. I finally admit it. I don’t think you need to stay around the same people your whole life, but you cannot lock yourself in an apartment and write a novel. You’ve got to live the novel as you write it.
I need this always. Not always the same people, but I need people around me to shake me up out of my own head, and remind me that life is happening around us every minute. And it’s scary, but it’s ours. It’s all perfect and beautiful and fucked up and ours to create with.
Barrow wasn’t a mistake. It was exactly what we all needed. The bitter cherry on top of a hard, hard year. We’re never going to know how to talk about it, but we’re always going to know that it’s changed us. And is changing us.
The girls got so close, and found this social activism spark that united us in a unbreakable front. We also all faced our worst fears, in different ways. And now we’re back in the world, to continue to face fears, and do it together.
My writing took off in Alaska, and I realized if I can write in the Arctic like that, I can write anywhere. No excuses. Write everyday for life. Own it.
The blogging and quality of blogging will probably be a little hit or miss for the next week and a half, but after that I’m all yours. I was out on a jog today, and was filled with the clarity of what I will be doing the minute this program is over, and that is writing and art. Full immersion into people, life and expressing it on paper.
And I’m so excited.
No WWOOFing jobs for a few weeks. I just need to be free to write and think and relax for awhile.
SINK into the magic of the moment and the written word.
Update on my life: about to head to work. We’re helping with some event until eight tonight. My team’s going to force me to paddle board with them, or some shit like that. There’s no getting out of it. We’re here.
Yesterday Jess and I took the canoe out at Camp Pollock. It was MAGIC.
Life is a lot of up and downs right now. I want this program to end so bad so that I can be free, but I am also going to miss all of these people and the inspiration they give me daily.