Missing Belt, Mussed Hair

What a weird weekend.

I was talking to people when I got back about my experiences of the day– and they were like, what the hell. And I was like, I don’t know. I guess I can’t wear cardigans in public anymore.

I don’t know what it is about me that makes me such a target for people to talk to. I think it’s the same thing that makes people feel comfortable around me– which I love– that also makes people feel like they can pull on over on me.

Which pretty much sucks.

I don’t want to turn into an asshole. But it’s all about feeling it out in the moment. I just haven’t found me groove living in a city yet.

Talked to Ben, he said he just never makes eye contact with anyone on public transit. Which I find sad, because I love interacting with strangers.

I’ll figure it out.

It definitely is different being a woman, though.

Was talking to Tony, who buys a bottle of whiskey and packet of cigarettes on the weekends and hangs out with homeless people on the streets whenever he gets the chance. And he said that it is crazy how many people are on the streets here than the last time we were here. It’s like they are all came out with the spring weather.

We just did a wrap up presentation for round two– that experience is firmly behind me now. And I am so so so so so so so happy to be out in the world again.

Never going to live in a tight knit, small rural community. That is not something that sits well with me at all.

I always said I didn’t want that, but now it’s good to have experienced living in the outback and being able to say firmly: Not for me.

But two months camping in a tent outside a city– we’ll see.

A coffee shop opened up ten minute walk from our campus two weeks ago. Super excited, because I’ve really needed a place to sit down, get wifi and get away from the people.

It’s only open 6-6, but it’s nice because I can go during our breaks during the day. We’re free til 1, when we have our community meeting.

The parallels between this program, and intentional communities got discussed at our presentation, and it makes a lot of sense. They have modeled this program after IC’s, because it’s exactly the same thing. Living, working, playing together.

Who knew. I never saw this program in that light before.

We had training at 5:50 this morning, 5:40 the rest of the week. It wasn’t so bad. I went to bed at midnight last night, and woke up in the best mood I’ve woken up in in a long time. There is something in only sleeping six hours that really works with my body. Less is more. When I sleep more I get really lethargic and depressed.

12-6 sleeping schedule is the best thing I’ve ever done. Getting back into it. ‘

Got to turn in a lot of things for my team positions– I realized when we did our presentation that I had three jobs in addition to being a regular worker this round. Recruiter, Career Rep, and Assistant Team Leader. While most people only have one other job. Really happy to not be in an official leadership position this round– get to lead unofficially. Feel how much power I really have in my voice without the title.

Man, I am writing A LOT lately. I have no idea what’s gotten into me. Or what got out of me for the past six months. I love the feeling of my fingers flying on a laptop.

During our presentation, Heather recognized Syd and I for being assistant team leaders this round- for bringing organization and efficiency to the team, for increased communication (and OUR COUP). Our higher ups recognized us at the end for being a super strong team, making it through half the year with a lot of struggle, and how it’s made us stronger though it was really hard at times. Growing muscle. What kind of muscle? I’m not sure. Knowing when it’s time to lay down the law and takeover muscle? Probably.

I walk up to meet for our presentation, and my boots are worn and muddy and my belt is missing. My hair is flying up in all different directions. And everyone is cracking up. “Annie doesn’t give a fuck.”

I do, but I don’t. I care about doing this, but I just don’t care about all this stuffy details.

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