I like your smell

I’m pretty exhausted.

I went to the doctor last night and they had to xray me for pneumonia.

I don’t have it, but they did give me lots of medicine, and an inhaler.

I don’t think I’ll use the inhaler, the cough medicine or the codeine. But that antibiotic is in my system.

Feel like I’m pushing everyone away from me right now.

We are back on campus, and everyone wants to hang out. And I legit don’t feel good.

But I still feel obligated when I’m back there.

So Jess and I took the van this morning, and we are in downtown Sacramento right now.

I’m at a Starbucks at the convention center, and there are about a million people around me. And it’s so weird to be back in this kind of life.

It’s so weird to not have dirt in my pockets.

Last night we went to the pharamacy after the doctor, and let me tell you. Everyone should go to a RiteAid at 9 pm on a Friday night at some point in their life.

We went in, and were greeted with enthusiasm by the guy at the counter. And then everyone in the pharmacy.

Went to Safeway to buy food while we waited, and when I walked into the RiteAid again a different guy was by the door, a really tall, beautiful one with fitting dreadlocks, and he says, “I really like your smell.”

And I was like, “What? You like my SMELL?”

Thinking that I was giving off some hippie-no deodorant-super enlightened smell or something.

And he was like, “Yeah. I really like your smile.”

And I laughed and said thank you.

Then walked back. And the guys at the pharmacy were just as sweet. Really looking into your eyes and saying, “I hope you feel better.”

It was a really good night. Makes me really happy to be back in civilization. None of those guys would have ever been at the pharamacy in Willits, CA. They were all so different and unique. Something that a city really offers, even if it doesn’t offer farm fresh food.

I have so much I want to do. And I am so exhausted.

Carinne made us all a picture of ourselves with the sweetest letter.

Tony fixed me dinner. Quinoa with onions and spices, and then chopped oranges on the side. It was the sweetest thing, what I needed.

We ate dinner, Jess, Tony Izzy and I and laughed a lot. I started to feel more normal.

Then went down to my room– walked into my roommates being intimate. Feel like I’m back in college.

Everyone’s buzzing all over the place. Monica, Hannah, Eric talked with in the hall. Monica’s on my ass because I said I was sick all day, but she found out I went downtown with Jess earlier.

So I’m going to watch the end of a movie with her and Hannah.

Getting internet in the lobby and talking with Aaron right now about his time in a tarot card reading intentional community this past few months.

And then going back to read the rest of the night in my room. So excited. It’s what made me finally feel alive today.

And thank you to my parents for being there for me the past few days, and helping me feel better.

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