Jess and Dre are watching Jumanji and eating popcorn on the bed behind me, and I’m writing letters frantically and drinking tea.
Using these postage stamps that have been in my wallet for a few years– it’s going to be interesting to see if they actually work.
“It’s for your health. I care about your fucking health, how about that.” -Jess
Having a Dre talk after I finish my life’s work at this desk. Dre asks what that means, he’s concerned. And we’re like, we just want to have tea time. And he’s like, oh, alright.
“But then we’re having post Dre talk after you leave.”
My friend Colin just instant messaged me with a sunglassed emoticon on the program work page. I was just casually logged on on a Friday night. Really funny for some reason. That paired with someone banging on our door, and Jess and Dre unable to form sentences. It’s a usual odd night on the farm.
“Oh. These monkeys. They are so bad.” -Jess
“Oh.. motherfuckers… you better run…” -Jess
I went to the bathroom, and came back, and Dre and Jess are both staring up at me, and rubbing a piece of popcorn around their lips.
NUDIST NOMADIC COMMUNE.
Our reoccuring them as a team. And the idea of everyone I’ve met this year. I think we’re going to start a movement. Or get caught trying.
Last night career planning night went really well. Half the team showed up, and we all went around in a circle and told our dreams, and what we worked on last week to accomplish them. And our goals for this next week. And then other people in the circle gave feedback, and ideas for future plans. Really helpful to all who went, think it’s going to become a regular thing we all do. : )
After a weekend of hanging out with another team, we are back with our own team. And it is like being home again. It’s funny to see how teams of random people can be so similar. Or just learn to coexist. While we were with the other team this weekend, we all experienced pauses, and struggles to communicate what we wanted to get across. What was normally a casual comment within our team became a huge confusion and concern for them. Whenever we were sarcastic or making jokes about one another, they just stared. Lots of staring this weekend. It was like we were from different planets, and had completely different ways of communicating.
And I thought it was just me this weekend. I knew my team was being awkward, and but I thought I was being a little strange myself. But then got back to our room, and Jess comments on how weird this weekend was with that team. As our team is screaming and laughing and shitting on each other in our living room, they never touched one another, they didn’t banter, they didn’t react much. They were really thoughtful and lost in their own worlds. Kind of like me, but I realized this weekend that I am way more social than a lot of people. Regardless of my anti-social necessities and tendencies. I love to be alone, but when I am around new people— I really love that as well.
And the people on my team– they are who I am supposed to be with and learn with this year.
Don’t shut everyone else out– but realize that I have a unique experience to be surrounded by people who are so similar to me, and so different as well.
I’ll never really know if I’m an introvert or an extrovert, because I am both.
I need those people and that human touch for inspiration. But I need that time for thinking and being by myself as well.
Sitting here finishing my detox tea. Carinne is practicing her yoga routine for bright and early six in the morning tomorrow. Alyssa and I are freaking out about the changing color picture of the dress hitting the internet right now.
Talked to Monica on the phone– we kept playing phone tag, and she had to end up calling Carinne because I kept putting my phone down and forgetting about it. One track mind– I’d been wanting to talk to her all night, but when it came down to it I couldn’t not be distracted.
Laundry did not get done. Not much got done, actually. I did have the career meeting, which went really well but took a lot longer than I thought it would. Fallon stopped by and was a part of it. She is bringing a book over for me to borrow later this week, and we are going to start a mini book club while I’m here. Also going to start a book club with Debbie in Albuquerque.
Fallon and I spent a day in the garden on Tuesday getting existential, it was really great. I’ve never talked to a girl who liked talking about it as much as her. She had all the theories, and lots more far out than ones I’ve ever considered. It was a nice expansion of knowledge, as well as reinforcement of what I already feel confident on. We talked a lot about oneness, and ending separation. In all forms.
And it was great. And Tim played around with the sprinklers while we mused, and Jess came in and said how we should all be able to be naked right now, and what’s wrong with society anyway.
-Dre just walked in the door, and it scared the shit out of me. He forgot what he came down here for– is just standing in the kitchen with his hands on his hips. “…Damn…Oh yeah my clothes.”
Tomorrow is Friday. And everyone is going to volunteer with a concert in Willits tomorrow night. But I am staying home and going to do laundry and write. I have to write. Write write write. Just getting something down on paper is better than nothing. I have no room to be choosey with writing right now. Whatever I can get out is good. I just want to write some of this all down. Because I forget it the next minute if I don’t record it, it’s just like the call with Monica. One track mind. Life is always happening, reflection is something you need to take time for.
Seeing another side of the hippie community, and communities that isolate themselves away from society in general. It’s not all flowers and patchouli. They are just people here like everyone else.
We’re all just people, you know?
It is getting to us, though. Living anywhere for too long begins to change you, and I see the change happening in all of us. Everyday a little bit more.
I’m so tired, guys.
It’s been a good day, a fast week.
I want to write more, I know there is more to write about, but that will have to be for later.
But please remind me if you talk to me, that I need to write when I experience things, not later. Because no one wants to write about things they are not excited about anymore. And the way things go here– once things happen we are on to the next thing. Write daily. Daily blog again. Sorry for the lack of blogging. It’s also been a lot of writer’s anxiety: there are so many things that I want to write about, I’m waiting for the perfect time to write about them. Which will never come. So I just need to sit down and do it .
Do it do it do it.
And I don’t need to eat any chocolate chips before bed tonight.
I’m just going to go to bed.