Water and Worry

There are African white deer that hang out in our front yard every morning.

Went to work, cut blackberries and stabbed self with thorns for a few hours. Pretty standard beginning to a morning.

Then I worked with Ryan and Jess digging up grass around the apple trees, and sprinkling the base with hay. Where I discussed our PT mornings. with Ryan


Three times a week at 6:30 am, one full hour of aerobic exercise. “30 seconds of this. 30 seconds of that. 30 seconds of this. 30 seconds of that. 15 push ups. Then 20 crunches. Then 20 burpies.”

We never do work on our anaerobic muscles, our long term endurance.

I just want to go for a run.

Z’s dog was with us in the orchard, and he dug a gopher out of the ground.

And then the gopher was out on the ground, terrified and big eyed. And had a growth on it’s mouth. And we didn’t know what to do with it because we didn’t want it to bite us, and I didn’t want to hurt it more picking it up with a shovel.

And then Z sent his dog over to finish it off, said to torture it. And everyone joined in like a fucking lion’s ring- saying it deserves to die because it’s a gopher.

And I just thought it was really fucked up for 9 in the morning.

I mean it is nature.

But I’m just not all about that part of nature so early. At least not the human contribution to it.

So that happened.

And all the while there is this fucking geiser of water that is flying up out of the group a quarter of a mile outside of the orchard. It’s been going on for the past week, and I was only imagining the worse.

If you think there is nothing harmful about a shoot of water spraying into the air, good for you. You are a calm person.

Over lunch I went home to fix pasta. All I wanted. And friends were trying to hug me, and I was just like, fuck offfff.

And then went back to work. Learned how to prune. Promised myself I wouldn’t get up in those motherfucking ladders. But I did.

And the cat was up there in the tree with me as well, so that was nice.

And then I asked Z about his life, he’s probably 15 years older than me. And he told me he spent his 20s in trees. And he didn’t mean pruning. He meant protesting.

I asked him the longest he’s ever been in a tree before, and he said he would usually go two weeks at a time.

And then we worked and worked and worked.

And played with the chickens a little.

And threw sticks for the dog.

And then the sun went down, and it got so cold so fast.

I’ve got a slight sunburn already from the days, though. It’s like summer during the day.

And came home, fixed a spaghetti dish and a salad for the guild meeting, and I got pissed because I felt like the same people were picking up the slack for the same slackers, as usual.

And when it involves food it is my hotbutton issue, and I can’t stand it.

I’m just tired of people taking advantage.

And I’m upset at myself for not being more solid through it all.

I need to get pissed off sooner, so that I don’t save it all up and then get apocalyptic about it.

Anyway, we went to the party. And for all the warnings we had been issued about tons of weed and booze there, it was actually really chill and a just a bunch of hippie agro nerds looking for community and a helping hand from one another.

I felt like the child at the dinner party- I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to eat.

Eventually did talk to some people, and it was so much easier than I give myself credit for.

People love to talk about themselves. You almost never have to do work in conversations if you don’t want to.

Ate the food, whatever. Have mixed feelings about it. I mean, it’s all organic and local, does it matter that it’s possibly poisoned by motherfucking soulless corporations dumping toxins in the soil?

And how many other places have I eaten food from like this and not known it?

I think I am very passionate about health and food. I think I will trade the term neurotic to passionate and make it a career.

Because they are all a bit crazy out here. Got all these theories, which most probably have a good basis in truth.

But no one is worried about what I’m worried about.

So much happened at this meeting, I’m not even sure I can do any of it justice.

It was like getting a sneak peak into 30 other lives. A whole world of farmer’s lives. What goes on behind closed doors.


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