Write and Live Great Things

Today was officially the first day of my post university life.

Went to training at the Willow Women’s Domestic Violence Center, and feel really inspired to get involved now. So much of a world out there, outside of books.

Books will probably always be a big part of my life, but I realized today that I need something outside of them to be fulfilled, and I realized that there are things in the world that I can do and be that will meet that for me. And I’m excited to start diving into it. Still just dipping my toes in, but isn’t that how I’ve approached everything in my life?

I want to write great things and live great things.

Last night came back from class to a house full of tears and emotions. Sexual abuse and mental disorders.

Big bear, the quietest, sweetest guy in the world, was in the middle of the room bawling his eyes out over the fact that we can’t just all get along.

I started hugging people and thinking, “I could hug people like this constantly for the rest of my life.”


“I have scabies..”


Jump in the shower and now shall never touch another human being again for the rest of my life.

Brunch with Nikki and the hippies at eleven: quinoa sweet potato burgers and bread pudding.

Celebrated Holi with Debbie and Dan at noon: got rubbed down with beautiful colors by all kinds of strangers. Very, very fun.

Back home around one, debate falling asleep. But SOMETHING pulls me out of bed: start a pot of coffee and a pot of beans and then head off into the world.

Check out where the Emily Taylor Women’s Resource Center is in the Union and plan to go there Friday.

Notice a flier for the philosophy club- one of my former classmates is giving a lecture tomorrow on the framework of international interventionism. I’m there. :)

Sit down drinking my coffee and reading the paper outside of the union while scanning the classified for some sassy jobs.

Head down the hill and proceeded along Massachusetts Street handing out resumes like candy. In total: Aimees, Z’s, Henry’s, La Prima Tazza, Java, Dusty, and Freestate.

Met Deb and Dan at Henry’s and had wildly inappropriate conversations in close proximity to people pretending to read.

Walked over to Urban and bought new shoes as the ones I was wearing were quite literally falling off my feet (I will keep them until they actually do though, of course. ;)).

Went to Dillons and stocked up on food for the week and a few essentials I have been meaning to get for the past month or so.

Walked home and within five minutes of entering my house an exciting lighting and thunder show appears. Open my window and breathe in the fresh rain air.

Debbie came over and we talked about graduation. I will be taking a road trip with her this summer to see her new home; New Mexico or Arkansas.

Vacuumed, recycled and cleaned out the fridge. Signed off my chore. Will be negative 40 points this week, so have to do some major extra work next week to get ahead again.

Now I am going to meditate.

Then watch some ridiculous British comedy.

International Law- too much for me right now. Last night’s lecture just talked about chemical and biological warfare. And I just wanted to cry.

This morning in the kitchen making spaghetti (yes, in the morning), and Joel started talking to me about his time as a dog catcher, and how the area around Topeka has one of the highest proportion of rabies in the country. How when we was in Panama he watched one of his friends die of rabies over a period of two weeks- said he was gone after the first three days. He caught rabies from inhaling bat breath in a cave.

He worked as a guard for some of the US chemical weapons facilities in the 70s. Said that if the alarm ever went off, his instructions were to kill everyone in sight.

The Stand.

Apparently the US is in the process of destroying all of our chemical weapons, but biological weapons are another thing.

To have defense against biological weapons (vaccines) we must create the weapons. So, while stockpiling viruses which can kill the world a million times over is now looked down upon, having the knowledge to do so is essential for “defense.”

Today I got accepted for the AmeriCorps NCCC program, and on Monday I have an interview for volunteer work at the Willow Women’s Center.

I was wrong. And that is a lovely thing to be able to admit. And rare for me.

Thank you, beautiful people in my life, for letting me come to terms with it on my own time.

Laying on hot cement of the front porch this evening, soaking up the last rays of sun from this muggy hot day when Auntie Retta comes running at me from behind the bushes, scaring the shit out of me. I scream, we laugh, and we sit down to catch up and go over the basics:

1. Never go on a date with a man without first snapping a picture and jotting down his license plate number for a friend.

2. Never lay with a man without first acquiring his driver’s license and social security number.

2. If you are going to get knocked up make sure it is by a doctor, lawyer, or Indian chief.

3. You will never like any job that you work, ever.

4. Make sure to tell people to f*$@ off when they need to hear it.

5. Her son’s boyfriend is a Pro Ho.

6. Be a #(@$@@*%(^#$%*#($% one hundred percent of the time. And try not to get fired.

I have missed my Auntie Retta so much.

Editing Mariya’s book for work. Islam and Secularism.

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and we are all sitting around in the living room interviewing a new applicant for August. Toward the end of the interview, in pops a tall, skinny, tan, soot covered bearded man with a guitar on his back and a twinkle in his eye.

“I’m a traveling musician. I was looking for a place to find shelter before the storm hits tonight, and I heard this was the place to come?”

“Yes, my child. Come sit down,” the spirit of the Co-op whispers as spring air flows through its ever open door. “We always have room…”

Walked up to the water cooler in the office to get a drink like I do almost everyday, and was confronted with the Latin American studies director.

“You know you’re not supposed to be drinking out of that.
We pay for our water.

You guys don’t.

You drink out of the tap.”


Water politics.

The ongoing tension between the LuxuriousLatinAmericanProfessors and the CheapAssEasternEuropean ones.

Will not miss this office that much.

What I forget when I am moving too fast is how beautiful contemplation is.

When I am going full speed, there is no way I want to slow down, because I will miss something.

So switching over to slow will always be painful; you’re giving up something. But what I need to always and forever remember is that it is worth it. And necessary. And I need to make that time, no matter all the exciting things which are going on in my life at the time.

Because only when I take the time do I truly see, and truly feel.

Erin, Robbie, Carlos and Justin want to get a house together with me.

Need to find a job first.

Gave up going to two interesting lectures tonight in honor of my peace of mind.

Letting it all sink in tonight.

And it feels amazing.

Discussing Obento boxes in Japan, how indirect social direction is the best way to create ideological control and thus hegemonic domination. Innocent Obento boxes create rigid social norms; innocent sexist comments in the house create indoctrinated disrespect among common human beings.

Subtle control the hardest kind to rebel against; questioning things that have become “natural” in society.

Wednesday night Nikki made dinner for Erin, Clay and I at his place. Really good. :) Sun was shining, beautiful day.

After dinner ran up to Spooner Hall for a lecture on Syria by a Syrian-American professor from the University of Arizona.

Realized I want to pursue some sort of journalism in my life as I am a note taker by nature. Could not stop writing the entire two hours this strong beautiful woman was speaking. Want to continue going to enlightening and informing lectures and events for the rest of my life.

Moderate. Organize. Know the issues.


Threat of chronic sectarian violence between Sunnis and Shiites.

Resistance against government initially designed as nonviolent but government responded with overwhelming force leading rebels to develop my violent tactics as well.

70,000 dead 12 million refugees 80 billion in property damage

Spurring regional and global change

Increasingly violent

Arms flow in, people flow out.

Lebannon dominated by Hezbollah- support Assad regime because Syria supported Lebannon in times of crisis.

Part of “axis of resistance against US imperialism and Israel.” Most countries in this axis dominated by a Shiite population, Syria is the exception. Government is Shiite and people are Sunni.

Turkey, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Qatar (host and home of Al Jazeera), UAE: Axis of Sunni rule

Good times, Sunnis and Shiites (Alawis) coexist peacefully together. Bad times, volatile. Like Catholic/ Protestant relationship.

Dara- first incident of Syrian uprising with schoolboy jailed and tortured over rebellious graffiti

Most areas Syria currently have split control: i.e. Aleppo government, kurdish militias, Free Syrian Army and allies. Different neighborhood, different rule.

1967 war loss of Golan Heights to Israel. Syria still at war with Israel. Assad uses war footing to stay in power and keep authoritarian family regime.

protogenocidal situation; governments using weapons for international war on own citizens.

Moderate Syrian political groups- organizational issues.

Islamic groups (associated with Al Quaeda)- easier to organize/motivate and provide what needed immediately and gain credibility form the general public. Power of religion to mobilize competes with pure force and inevitably wins in long run. Only outcome on horizon for Syria.

Turkey the model for Islamic state

Toothpaste not going back in the tube. Time for a negotiated situation is over after all the violence.


Feel really fresh.

Fixed dinner tonight, chopped about 20 onions and cried my eyes out.

Wednesday night I went to a lecture by Sandra Fluke.

“Instead of trying silence her, you invite me here. And you give me this microphone. To amplify our voice. That’s the difference.”

Women leaders, lawyers, comedians, public interest scholars

3rd wave feminism: Intersectionality and virtual leadership.

Speak with people. Hear their stories. Carry the stories.

Speak soft, simply, slow down but move swift. Learn to be calm in any situation thrown at you. The height of power and the tipping point for change.

Was really good. Quick summary of her lecture on immigration:

Social justice: be an ally to other communities. Do not take over other’s fights but do not sit out on them. Be part of coalition with brothers and sisters of the world. Strength in numbers and worldview.

#4immigrant women

All of our wages exploited, regardless of immigrants.

Hard for women to leave domestic abuse situations, 3x harder in immigrant communities because of isolation and fears of being deported if report to police.

Voices not strong enough on own, sisters and brothers, do right by them.

Hold politicians accountable. Make sure they make you proud, and let them know when they don’t. Social perception the biggest vehicle for social change.

Violence Against Women Act passed by Congress this year, UVisa provision taken out.

Just like relationships in your life, social groups have to stand together to ensure security for all.

Keep energy united when can.

Arists step up and do advocacy work with the lawyers.

Make it personal- understand what matters to others and make issues relatable.


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